An adoption of a child is not an easy process by any mean but it is easier if the child is an infant. An infant has no prior history so he can grow up in the environment of the home easily but an adoption of an older child is not that simple.
An older child has memories of where he has been, what has happened to him and who was around him. He maybe fearful of the new environment and not trusting so it might take some time to gain his trust but also he would need to learn early what is expected in the new home.
The parents would need to show that child a lot of love even when the child need corrections. It is alright to be firm but not to the point where the child become withdrawn to you. Open communication is a must but again, that might take some time.
Give the child time for adjustment and do not expect him to welcome you with open arms, remember you are a stranger to him and trust has to be earned.
If there are other children in the home do not exclude the adopted child in the communication with the other children, he is most likely already feeling that he is not a part of the family and excluding him will only affirm his thoughts.
On the other hand, do not make a fuss over him because that could cause jealousy among the other children and strife could develop among them therefore, treat all of them the same way.
Whatever the rules and regulations of the home is make sure the adopted child is aware of it and make sure he has duties just like the rest.
If the child came from a bad environment, assure him that it is not that way in your home. Ask him what happened to him and if he prefer not to talk about it then do not push him. In time and perhaps little by little he will begin to tell you of his past.
Listen carefully to what the child has to say and show compassion towards him but do not show signs of anger even if what he has told you made you angry. He will see the anger in you and will relate to it because it may have been the very thing that has caused harm to him in the past. Thus he might withdraw from you. He may not realize that your anger is not directed at him so avoid it.
Do not forget to praise him for his good work. Children look to be praised, it is a sign of appreciation and that could make him feel more at home.
Introduce him to your friends, boast about him to them in front of him. Talk about his good traits and the good things that he has done. It might embarrass him a little but in actually, he will appreciate it.
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